Wit's end

At this moment, this second, I am there.  At my wit's end.  What does that mean anyway?  I have no idea, all I know is I've had it.  I've been driven to tears by a 3 year old, and I barely kept it together.  It's one of those nights where I swear I would sell him.  HELP! 

Ever since he was a baby he's been quick to go nuts and throw fits.  His nickname as a baby was "Hulk" because he would quite literally "go hulk" on us.  He would just start to scream uncontrollably and we were unable to stop him. Nothing snapped him out of it, and nothing made it better.  He would just close his eyes and refuse to open them and scream.  We thought it was stressful then, little did we know he would keep that up.  

He is nearly 4 and he is still quick to throw a fit.  He will scream so loud that it rattles my brain, I don't know how he does it.  You can't talk to him during it either.  The only thing to do is send him to his room and let him scream it out.  Usually he is faking the few tears and the screaming is to get a rise out of us.  An effective action indeed.  Tonight he wasn't listening, as usual, and giving me attitude.  So he got sent to time out, when he continued the behavior afterwards I took away his songs before bed.  A little thing really, just no songs before bed.  How does that turn into an all out screaming war?  He said his prayers and then laid down to be tucked in and sing songs.  I tucked him in and then told him no more songs and went to leave. (remember he was aware of no songs pre-bed)  He began to cry and I explained to him why he wasn't having songs.  He decided to scream louder. So I left the room, but he escalated.  Will is trying to go to sleep in the next room so I tried to talk him down.  He only screamed louder and began flailing.  Once he gets worked up there is almost no way to bring him back to reality and get him calm.  

I have no idea how to handle this behavior.  Trying to ignore it doesn't work, taking the calm route doesn't work, and getting angry of course doesn't work.  It doesn't help that he is stubborn and both of us are too.  Two stubborn people only breed a child more stubborn than they are...bad stuff right there.  I need advice on how to help with this before he goes to school and starts exhibiting this behavior there.  Can you imagine?  I shudder to think that my child could be THAT child.  

He's so handsome!  He's silly, creative, funny, and has a huge imagination.  I love this guy, even though he's also stubborn and has a scream loud enough to wake the dead.