Live BIG!

The other week my wonderful bestie, Beth, and I were chatting on Facebook.  I am very lucky to have such an awesome friend who understands where I am coming from when I say weird things and who won't judge me for ANYTHING.  How blessed am I?  Sometimes we just chat about daily things in life, sometimes we laugh until we are in tears, and other times we talk about very deep and very personal things.  We talk things out, we cry things out, and we motivate each other.  We started talking about why is it that we sometimes look back on our college years together and long for it.  Why?  We have lives that we love and we live for now.  But we both sometimes find ourselves thinking about the days of our past.  As we talked, grateful that someone else in this world felt the same way, we realized that we missed who we were back then.  We missed the feeling we had of complete freedom to be exactly who we wanted to be.  We lived in the moment.  We played hard, we loved big, and we LIVED BIG.  And there it was.  The moment of clarity for us both.  We have settled into life, gotten comfortable, and have neglected to live big anymore.

Me and my Bethie!

So we extended the challenge to each other to live big.  How?  That was up to us.  I got off the computer that night and started thinking about what I could do.  I have been feeling like something is missing lately.  Don't get me wrong, I love my life.  I love my husband, and my children, and the opportunity to be at home with them so much.  I have even begun to love my job again (huzzah!).  What I am missing is something that is mine.  I started to think about what it is that I could do to fill the gap.  I searched my brain for what talent I had that I could expand upon.  I came up blank.  Then it hit me, there is only one thing that I truly regret not doing in my life, for giving up.  One thing you say?  Yes, one thing that I really wish I could take back.  And I felt silly, but this feels like the thing that might do the trick.  Okay, are you ready?  The cello.  That's right, the cello.  I gave it up as a kid due to logistics of getting it on the bus and not being able to get a ride every day that I needed it with me.  So goodbye cello.  Sure, I wish I had actually practiced the piano more so that I'm not ashamed to play in front of people, but that really isn't that huge of a regret for me.  Every time I hear the cello I ache.  It's one of the most beautiful sounds to me.  But is it too late in life to learn an instrument?  Do I actually have the time?  All I know is I need something for me, not for the kids, not for my husband, not for the house.  ME.  Selfish?  I don't think so.  We all need an outlet.  Some people paint, craft, run, cook, read.  Everyone has something, so here's to finding mine.  I just need to go out there and LIVE BIG.  

What will you do to live big?